Don't be mistaken: you're on the right path if you're getting it wrong
How making mistakes is an essential part of the creative process
"Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journal Entry, November 1842
Hello music-loving friend,
You probably know the feeling. You’re doing something complicated in front of someone else (your choice of venue, activity, and spectator!) and you make a mistake. You cringe, your face turns red, you’re so flustered you make more mistakes, and on it goes. It’s a catastrophe, a disaster, a calamity, and (in your head at least), you know you’ll never live it down.
You’re not the only one. We’ve all been there, although in the moment it probably feels like you’re the only one to have ever stuffed up. What we need to learn to do is to give ourselves a break, to acknowledge that there is a high chance we will eventually get things wrong, be forced to backtrack, or take a detour.
We live in a society that increasingly prizes perfection and uniformity above all else. We strive to achieve what we think we must, and in order to conform we stick to the rules, follow the correct path, celebrate the same milestones as everyone else.
Yet at the same time many of us have never been more dissatisfied or anxious or insecure, encouraged to think that if there’s a problem it’s because of who we are. The only way to feel better, we’re told, is to improve ourselves. The only way to find our true selves is to be like everybody else. If you struggle to conform, well, that’s on you.
The trouble is that fear of not keeping within the lines hampers our ability to experiment and explore, to create, solve problems, and adapt to changing circumstances. And we risk losing sight of the very essence of what makes us gloriously and bewilderingly human. Because it’s our imperfections and flaws and quirks that make us who we are.
And it might be that very detour that ends up steering us along a path that brings us much more joy or satisfaction than the one we thought we should be on.
How music works: make as many mistakes as you can
When it comes to mistakes, music is the ideal context. There isn’t a single musician on this planet— no matter how experienced or skilled they might be—who doesn’t make mistakes.
And playing and singing provide the perfect opportunity to see that mistakes are not only completely normal but also an integral part of the process. They’re tools instead of roadblocks, and thinking about them in this way can change not only how you feel when you make them, but also how you react and adapt.
They’re an essential part of the learning journey, stepping stones that will help take you to where you need to be, even if that isn’t exactly the same as where you thought you were heading. Much better to be able to explore, experiment, and create without fear of judgement, especially from yourself.
And if it means you end up sounding less like everyone else and more like yourself, then all the better.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If there's anything else you're curious about or would like me to explore further, let me know! You can comment on this post or send me a message at katepainediscoveringmusic@substack.com
Thanks, Kate ❤️