Playing by your own rules

Why choosing to make music because you love it is the best reason of all

Ah, I become so frustrated with the misguided belief that we can’t just enjoy making music without having to justify why or how we do it.

Too often, it’s not enough to simply find pleasure in doing it because tell someone you love playing or singing and invariably you’ll be asked if you’re any good.

Can you imagine how it would be if we put the same pressure on ourselves when it comes to other things we might love to do?

‘Oh, you love gardening. Have you won any prizes? Can you recite the botanical names for all the plants in your garden?’

‘I hear you like doing yoga. Tell me, how long can you hold the Downward Facing Dog? How often do you practice?’

‘So you like jigsaw puzzles. How many pieces can you do per minute, and what’s your record for a 2000 piece puzzle?’

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it, because we understand that we do these activities because we love them. They bring us joy, they challenge us (as much as we want them to), they keep us healthy and, while we might choose to increase our skill level and the amount of time we do them (yoga teacher, gardener, professional puzzler?), it’s a personal decision, entirely up to us.

So why is music different?

There will always be those who want to take it as far as they can, have a huge passion for it, thrive on the discipline of regular practice, or who are insanely talented (or any combination of the above).

But there are also those for whom music is a safe haven, a hobby, a distraction, an itch they want to scratch. Some have a burning desire to make music but no desire to learn how to read it.

Others want to satisfy their curiosity about one particular thing, or get into how it all works. Or it might be about conquering a fear or gaining confidence, or just because you like to sing your favourite songs or want a new creative outlet.

Too much of a focus on measuring and proving yourself can create unnecessary pressure, at odds with why you started doing it in the first place, and overshadowing the pleasure of making music. It can also influence not only how long you continue but also whether you get started in the first place.

And what a loss that would be.

Instead, let yourself—and others—embrace music any way you want and for as long as you want without the burden of having to prove that you can do it.

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Thanks for reading Discovering Music. Let me know if you enjoyed this post, and if there's anything you're curious about or would like me to explore in future editions. You can comment on this post or send me a message at katepainediscoveringmusic@substack.com ❤️

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